First of all, congratulations! Having a baby is a different experience the second time around. You feel a little more confident and you’re able to truly enjoy the newborn cuddles a little bit more. The hard thing for me the second time around was my toddler. I read things online about having a “special toy basket” meant only for feeding time to distract my toddler while I fed the baby. This worked for approximately 90 seconds the first time I tried it, but my 19-month-old had no attention span for toys when there was someone else on mama’s lap. Here are a few practical things I learned that helped me juggle having two littles.

1. Put your baby down for naps/bedtime first.

This applies when your baby is on a nap schedule starting around 3-4 months old. Newborns can sleep whenever/wherever, but once you get your baby on a schedule and are following wake windows, you really can’t stretch that window too long. Your toddler can wait 15 min for naptime or bedtime and be totally fine.

2. If you have to do bedtime without help from your significant other, use the crib as a safe space to contain your toddler while you get the baby down.

Most of the time, Charlotte would be happy to sit in her crib with some books for 10 minutes while I put Teddy to bed. If she wasn’t calm (i.e. if she was screaming the whole time,) I would give her the iPad and this worked 100% of the time. Now that Charlotte is almost 2.5, I can leave her in the living room with an engaging show on, such as her current favorite – Bluey, for 5-10 min while I put Teddy down.

3. Order a meal delivery service.

My favorite is Hungry Root. We started with Blue Apron, and while it’s delicious, those meals took 30-40 minutes to prepare which is not realistic for us. Hungry Root is very healthy, and if that’s not your jam, find another one! Whichever meal delivery service you choose, make sure the meals take no longer than 20 minutes to prepare. This saved us SO much stress around cooking. We are still getting this delivery most weeks now because it makes life so much easier.

4. Get out of the house.

It seems so daunting those first few times you leave the house alone with both of your kids. You feel like you’re packing for a weeklong vacation. You make 4 trips to and from the car. But it’ll be worth it and it gets easier. On those days your toddler won’t stop complaining or asking for snacks and the baby only wants to be held, getting in the car or going for walk in the stroller outside can be the reset that you all need for the day.

5. Prepare lunch in advance.

If you find a few quiet moments in the morning where your baby is sleeping and your toddler is engaged in something, prepare lunch and put it in the fridge for later. Inevitably, your toddler will be hanging on your leg whining while your baby is crying for milk just as you pull stuff out at noon to make lunch. Having it prepared and ready to go is such a lifesaver.

6. Involve your older child!

Charlotte learned how to sing “You Are My Sunshine” with me when we put Teddy down for naps. There are some days where she just wants to follow me around and go with me upstairs, so I let her. I explain that it’s Teddy’s naptime and we have to be quiet. She’ll “help” change his diaper and then sing with me. Since Teddy goes down for naps awake, this works for us. If your baby is a newborn and still needs help getting to sleep, your older child can help for part of the nap routine and then you can use the crib tip for containing them while you get the little one to sleep. This is a great example of how sleep training at a young age can really help you when you have multiple kids. You just don’t have time to rock and hold your second baby like you did with your first!

Just remember, you’re in survival mode the first few months. It’s a big adjustment for everyone at your house. Do what you have to do. Charlotte became a huge fan of Disney movies as we started using the tv more. Instead of stressing about “too much screen time,” I leaned into reliving my youth and watching Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, and The Little Mermaid with her and really just enjoyed doing this! Yes, sometimes I feel guilty if we’re watching a second movie, but if it’s cold or rainy out and that’s what we need to do, then we do it.

If you just had another baby, are expecting again, or are thinking about having another baby, I want to assure you that it’s worth it. Just as most moms feel before they have another baby, I questioned how I could ever love another baby as much as I love my first. And just like everyone says, your heart grows and you have just as much love for that next baby. And what’s even better is that you get to see your first child love the baby! My heart melts when Charlotte hugs and kisses Teddy, holds his hand in the stroller, or makes him belly laugh.

I hope some of these tips help you and if you feel like you need more support when it comes to sleep, please reach out to me. I’d love to make sleep an easier thing for you!